Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
