Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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