haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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