I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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