Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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