you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
