do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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