I faked an abortion last night.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
