): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
