I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
