you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
