im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
