i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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