Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's never too late to be topless.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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