glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
