Sponge bath it is.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so let's talk penis.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
