If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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