just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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