I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
