All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
