I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
