Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Someone came in the potted fern
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
