Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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