WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
