You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
