So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
