the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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