Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
