yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
