The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
