Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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