I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
