On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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