They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
