as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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