check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
