She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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