glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
