the new term for farting is butt boxing.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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