if you like me you must not know who I am
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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