Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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