its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
