the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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