You're completely useless in the revolution.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
