I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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