Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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