It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
