I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
