walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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