Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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