I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
