I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
