The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
